truth...

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
*** light and shadows ***
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

June 08

Moments of Truth

How many painful truths
often become disturbingly clear
for just a few fleeting moments



Yet sooner than even the pain has subsided
we choose to close our eyes to them
and carry on as if they never happened.

Alter Ego

discontent...

Nov 07

Lingering Discontent



Observing human beings, one can often than not see
that there is deep misery and a lingering discontent inside
that no chocolate, cigarettes, beer, clothes, sex, travel
or any of the entire earth's other little
or mighty thrills can ever heal.

Yes, it starts sometime back then ...
and so does the consequent unconscious
lifelong ''running away'' from then on.

For a long time there is an open road ahead
as well as myriads of little or big opportunities
to fuel the running and offer distractions
and illusions of hope
that all is straightened, left behind, or forgotten
but eventually one reaches the end of the road
with the disturbing realisation
that there is nowhere to hide
nowhere to escape or run to
and there is no other solution
than to stop, turn back and face it.

Blame will not heal, running away will not heal
avoiding will not heal, little or big thrills, acquisitions
or achievements and recognitions will not ever heal
Not even religion or spirituality will not heal
if sought solely as a refuge away from it.

It will keep welling up at every opportunity in different forms
such as unwarranted anger, unexplained tears
or just as deep dark lingering of ever present misery
that colours everything gray
and stifles - except temporarily - all aspects of life,
hope, expression and happiness.

There is no other way - no other solution
than to stop, turn back and face it.

Face it ... and feel it...and live it ...and re-live it

Feel it and Live it or it will not go away!

It is a pain like dark murky petrol that its fumes
pervade everything ever ready to ignite
in small explosions at a time all throughout life
but Only the " Fire " of persistent ''Living it'' can exhaust it.

"Feeling and Living it" in order to know, heal and move on
is entirely different than for ever ''dwelling in it''
blindly and without any purpose.

The purpose is to know to acknowledge and be liberated.

Yes , an unbearable and very painful endeavour indeed
but with a tremendously liberating force.

Never to travel paths that lead into traps and pain again

Never to chase shadows of the past
or unconsciously create new ones for the future.

Never to chase illusions that did not ever exist in the first place.

Never to project or expect anything from anyone out there
for a need that can only be satisfied from the inside.

Never to feel as victim of any circumstances any longer.

It takes time, takes effort, continual awareness, alertness
and constant introspection but it is worth it
metaphorically speaking, as much as the mortgage
that buys one their Own chosen home.

Alter Ego


Note:

The word 'Never' can be misleading if interpreted as a once off effort.
It is used to give emphasis to a slow yet steady and definite result.
In time it may come to mean true.

illusionary comfort

30 Dec 07

illusionary comfort



Two, among many reasons that prevent people
from seeking happiness and preferring to stick
to their familiar unhappy misery.

One,
If one is unhappy, the world / people
do not expect much from them
thus they do not have to expose themselves
to more painful experiences or unhappiness.

The other,
Knowing and controlling one's own misery
can create a comfortable illusionary barrier
against the possibility of anything additional
striking unexpectedly
'as one is already experiencing their fair share'
and this notion can give one a false sense of security.

Of course what is a 'fair share'
and most importantly...who delivers it?

Alter Ego

shadows...

June 08

Shadows

Now and then
The mind unexpectedly opens a door into a strange place
where desolate aspects of self are lurking in the dark

Shadows of some forgotten past.



Like Hecate in the dark cave of the mind
ghost images spinning imaginary spidery threads
inside deceptive mirrors
of a past that cannot not be revisited
and a future that can never be created...

Alter Ego

wiser...

Dec 07

A wiser mind




Whenever we choose to put our faith in self created
or commonly accepted idols or authorities of the time
and superficial unsustainable beliefs
which can only offer temporary hope and comfort
we are bound to get disillusioned and disappointed
at some stage in the future.

The good news is that only the disappointment is bad
the result is growth, reassessment and a wiser mind.

Orion

liberator...

June 06

The Mighty Liberator

There are times while observing people, including myself
that i often come to see how difficult it is for most
to let go of things that are nothing
but tiresome burdens to the soul.



It is during those times that i hail Death
as The Mighty Liberator of Man,
as the Eternal Rubbish Crusher,
and the Facilitator of the Evolutionary process.


Orion

another leaf...

18 Apr 08

Just another leaf?...

4.45' am...

Still dark

As consciousness descends slowly into the awareness of the body
another day rises with the first thought preceding it
like a swift flight of a bird:

"Another day.........
and again like a blind caterpillar
will be munching on a new old leaf
following a silent deep urge
knowing not its future nor its purpose.

Just another day...just another leaf.... munching....''



I know though this is not it - this is not all.

I know there is something more
I know there is something better.

I Know...

For a few fleeting moments, each time, I do Know!

Orion