Nov 07
Lingering Discontent
Observing human beings, one can often than not see
that there is deep misery and a lingering discontent inside
that no chocolate, cigarettes, beer, clothes, sex, travel
or any of the entire earth's other little
or mighty thrills can ever heal.
Yes, it starts sometime back then ...
and so does the consequent unconscious
lifelong ''running away'' from then on.
For a long time there is an open road ahead
as well as myriads of little or big opportunities
to fuel the running and offer distractions
and illusions of hope
that all is straightened, left behind, or forgotten
but eventually one reaches the end of the road
with the disturbing realisation
that there is nowhere to hide
nowhere to escape or run to
and there is no other solution
than to stop, turn back and face it.
Blame will not heal, running away will not heal
avoiding will not heal, little or big thrills, acquisitions
or achievements and recognitions will not ever heal
Not even religion or spirituality will not heal
if sought solely as a refuge away from it.
It will keep welling up at every opportunity in different forms
such as unwarranted anger, unexplained tears
or just as deep dark lingering of ever present misery
that colours everything gray
and stifles - except temporarily - all aspects of life,
hope, expression and happiness.
There is no other way - no other solution
than to stop, turn back and face it.
Face it ... and feel it...and live it ...and re-live it
Feel it and Live it or it will not go away!
It is a pain like dark murky petrol that its fumes
pervade everything ever ready to ignite
in small explosions at a time all throughout life
but Only the " Fire " of persistent ''Living it'' can exhaust it.
"Feeling and Living it" in order to know, heal and move on
is entirely different than for ever ''dwelling in it''
blindly and without any purpose.
The purpose is to know to acknowledge and be liberated.
Yes , an unbearable and very painful endeavour indeed
but with a tremendously liberating force.
Never to travel paths that lead into traps and pain again
Never to chase shadows of the past
or unconsciously create new ones for the future.
Never to chase illusions that did not ever exist in the first place.
Never to project or expect anything from anyone out there
for a need that can only be satisfied from the inside.
Never to feel as victim of any circumstances any longer.
It takes time, takes effort, continual awareness, alertness
and constant introspection but it is worth it
metaphorically speaking, as much as the mortgage
that buys one their Own chosen home.
Alter Ego
Note:
The word 'Never' can be misleading if interpreted as a once off effort.
It is used to give emphasis to a slow yet steady and definite result.
In time it may come to mean true.
